(This one is for you Tom!)
So the workplace once again welcomes a potential “Nate” into the mix with high expectations. He is scheduled to arrive from a place where they exile misbehaving managers, so his punishments must be complete. Along with several sexual harassment charges pending he comes with his spouse, an equally greasy subhuman smudge of excrement as well as their spawn. So as to accommodate this new level of diversity, the Mrs. is handed another high level position on another shift to sidestep any accusations of inappropriate staffing. The human elements that should have been slid into the positions were cast aside due to some obvious personal issues between the candidates and the big shot idiot who thinks a pair of silver-back bootlips will do a better job. Between this optimistic dumb shit and his cock-gobbling colleague, the expectations of this soon to be new big shot nigger Nate are vociferously high.
First huge mistake: Believing a nigger will not let everyone down but rather prove it is exactly what it is…an incompetent, cognitively limited beast.
Burning bridges based only on a belief that any nigger is the answer to everyone who tried and failed before to complete a specific task can only lead to career-ending disappointment. And I cannot wait to sit quietly and watch it all crumble around them. But that story is for another day. Today we just tell the tale of the new nigger whose very first act was to disappoint!
In walks Ty**e ( yes, really. Ty**e) with it’s family to tour the new digs. First offense was to allow friends or family into the facility to roam freely, but niggers can do what they want when they are here to save us all from our own lackluster selves. As he was preparing to leave, he handed his admiring new bosses his demand for three more weeks off before officially starting his new job. Ouch. Visibly disturbed, they all brushed it off still looking forward with unbridled affection to this niggers return. He was to begin this past Monday. He didn’t show up. The staff was in awe of this obvious misunderstanding. Tuesday came and still no Ty**e. Speculation began to run wild. Did this nigger do exactly what should have been expected? Did it take its relocation windfall and head to Aruba? Rumors were stirring…until Wednesday. Today. And here it is.
Swaggering down the aisle with its tour guide, Ty**e made his entrance. A very large man with a shaved melon head, a mismatched suit, and cowboy boots with upturned toes. But that was not the end of his fashion statement! Atop his melon sat an ornate beanie. Many unfamiliar with the meaning mistook it for a Jewish Yarmulke, but it was something else. Indeed, it was a Muslim skull cap like the phony nigger Muslims wear in prison. And he was here to lead us. To take over for the multitude of human failures that preceded him. Our new savior!
It was almost like November 2008 when every nigger gazed up at Obama and thought, “I don’t never got to pay for shit ever no more again!” But our niggers appeared silent, knowing their place was to support this new nigger under any and all conditions, regardless of how utterly stupid he looked in his western boots, thirty dollar suit, and Muslim headgear. When I was introduced to him, he reached out to shake my hand…it was the size of a fucking catchers mitt. (note to Tom: Keep your handshake glove handy!).
The early impressions from the lower level managers who thought this was a bad idea was what I expected after seeing the beast in real life. “He is a ‘different kind’ of guy”, said one. “He’s a flaming asshole!” said another. He is rumored to have a PhD in something or other but I had doubts until I saw the vanity license plates on his slick new BMW convertible: “DR T” ! What a hoot. A true nigger PhD might have some probation attached to its conditions of parole but again, that’s for another day. This nigger is all business. His demeanor is hard nosed and I expect a shit ton of trouble for everyone down the road. If for no other reason, that stupid fucking beanie he had Velcroed to his scalp!